Take your own medicine.

Your limbs, gut, mind, soul, heart,...are all part of you. But at different intervals, different parts take charge.

- That paintbrush you scored high grades with
- Printed out photos of you
- Anniversary cards
- Birthday cards
- Sorry-please-take-me-back cards
- Sorry-please-take-me-back handwritten copied song lyrics
- The second gift you ever gave me (the first was a ball point pen. I have no idea where that is).
- A heartshaped pendant necklace which I wore until it became rusty and some of the stones had popped out.
- A hand drawn portrait of me
- A congratulatory letter which apparently came with a gift. I have no recollection of what that is.
- A Cadbury chocolate wrapper (yes, only the wrapper. God knows what if there were still chocolate to speak of).
- Old consignment notes and wrappers
- Photos of your younger siblings

All of which was handwritten. All of it was sent with care, items put inside were carefully chosen; as well as the words put onto paper. Promises were constantly made, vows embedded in handwritten faith of some wonderful future. Distance was a measure too great that care had to be made that the other person saw those vows and promises written down. It made things real, despite the person never really being there.

Eventually, the person started really being there. So the handwritten promises and vows ceased. There was no more need for them. Or was there? The person was in truth there. Physically, emotionally, whole-heartedly there. Look at me, feel me, see me. I am real, and I care for you. I will not write about it because now I can show you.

But then, there was so much proof being put forward. How could one possibly question the vows and promises once upon a time ago profoundly proclaimed; how could one deny the years of physical, emotional, and whole-hearted devotion? It is real, the heart, soul, mind, is there. The feelings are just as real. What has a person to prove now? Isn't it obvious that the feelings are pure, true, and sincere? Why should I be there? Why should I always rush to your aid? Why should I always have to be your shoulder? You have your own. Learn to use them.

I read again all those handwritten vows; and now I understand why I kept returning at the time. And I also understand why I eventually gave up. But when it comes to the matters of the heart, understanding something doesn't quite guarantee it amounting to anything.

Scarred tissue is stronger than pampered skin. It has been through damage, pain, and healing. You may wince if you poked the old wound, and that very same spot may be torn again; but in doing so you gain... what you gain, is up to you.