Coffee happenings.

I am guilty of much overthinking. I sing out loud mostly because when I sing, it drowns out the noise in my head. I can focus more on a task because those little voiceless sounds are distracted with the sounds coming out of my own mouth.

I come across as judgemental.
I come across as weird/psychotic/disturbed
I come across as abrasive/aggressive
I come across as nosy.
I come across as _________________________.

Would it make sense to think less? To shut out my thoughts so that I can be "lighter". Or should I keep my incessant questioning limited to my own ponderings? But wouldn't. Be more likely to live in assumption and self-weighed judgement if I do not question others?



Read.

I read; and from there stems a gazillion more ponderings. Each person offers a somewhat unpredictable chain of reaction to these ponderings. Sometimes it is not the answer that is valuable; it is the reaction.


Write.

I write; mostly to clear my head. But it is never clear. It will never be clear. Why would I want it to be?


Converse.      (No. NOT the footwear)

What is the purpose of conversation if not to learn?
There is to bond, there is to release, there is to educate,...
True, that sometimes it is not about the content, but the intent behind it. Small talk, for instance. I've always considered it petty and foolish; done by those who have no weight to their thoughts. They talk small because their minds are small.

Very few people are able to speak to my mind. It always irritated me that they bring up things that I had already thought of and disputed 7 years ago. When people point out things I already knew. When people brought up issues I had already debated.

But then I was enlightened by an afternoon conversation. A meaningful one at that, but one thing struck me. That small talk wasn't meant to enlighten one's mind alone. It was meant to put another at ease, or to start off on some sort of common ground.

Patience.

Some conversations never escalate to anything substantial; and that is perfectly fine. It doesn't make you less intelligent, it merely means that for a time, you spent it talking to another person. Whether you learn or not from them, no matter how small the talk, that is up to you. Perhaps the lesson was in listening.

Listen.

It is very rare that I encounter a person bent on making a point to me and actually succeeding.
You are rare. And I value that.

But I have also learnt to value the mass.


Thank you, you.