Friday 29 March 2013

The words left unspoken.

“I have to talk to you”

“But I have to go…I have a meeting. Later, ok?”

Mama’s eyes drops; but not as far as her heart sinks. Your children love you! Why are you ignoring this?
Mama waits patiently upstairs…tries to read a book, tries to write down some notes. But her heart is thumping  hard. She tries to swallow; there is a lump in her throat. Her cheeks are burning, eyes are welling with tears. She walks to the bathroom. Goes in. Locks the door. Turns on the water, sits down on the toilet. 

She breathes in 3 full breaths before allowing herself to sob quietly. Why doesn’t anyone understand my pain?

Mama clears her face off tears and calmly goes out. Papa is sitting by his usual seat. He looks up. Mama dries her hands and steals a glance at herself to make sure her tears don’t show.

“They’ve been planning surprises for you. Hoping you’d come and visit. Last week it was roaring like tigers. This week they just politely asked if you’d make time for them.”

“It’s sad, but at the same time it isn’t. They’re strong little dragons, mama. They just need a little guidance.”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough; smart enough, to guide them, papa. They need you.”

I need you.

Some words are best left unspoken, but some just need to be said.
Mama loves you, little baby dragons. Mama loves you all.

Thursday 28 March 2013

When your strength is also your weakness


Mommy is trying, little baby dragons. Mommy is trying. She’d wipe away your tears and carry the burdens of the world for you, but she knows that will only make you weak. Mommy wants you to be strong. To face the world with wisdom and grace, to shine your lights into the darkest corners.

“Is he coming to visit us this week? I think he’ll come…I can feel it”

Tears well up in the mother’s eyes; her heart burst into a million pieces.

“No, I think he’ll be back next week. Not just to visit, but for good.”

Mama turns around to hide her throbbing veins and tear-stricken face. I wish I could take away all your pain, but I’m afraid I might add to your grief my little babies…

“Mother, I need help!!”

The one-eyed baby dragon has fallen into a ditch…he scrambles about with his brother laughing at the top of the mound…

“It’s just a ditch, climb out yourself. What do you expect me to do?”

“But brother pushed me in!”

“Oh for goodness’ sake. Ok, no fish heads for your brother tonight. Happy?”

“….but I didn’t push him!”

“Yes you did!”

“Mama!!”

Mama turns away, not because she doesn’t care, but because she knows the two brothers can work it out themselves. They are dragons after all, babies though they may be.

Sunday 24 March 2013

-Edited version-


When I Was Your Girl

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have had some patience
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Loved in your weakest moment
Cause all you wanted was for me to hold your hand
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another gal

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have had some patience
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Loved in your weakest moment
Cause all you wanted was for me to hold your hand
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another gal

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I hope she has some patience
I hope she holds your hand
Give you all her hours
When she has the chance
Love you in all your moments
Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your gal
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your gal