A Reception's Happenings.

I get scared too. So scared, that I can’t admit it to myself. I can’t say it out loud, in fear of the consequences. Afraid of how you’ll react. Terrified that you’ll tell me that my feelings are wrong, that my thoughts were all wrong, and that I shouldn’t be the way that I am. Understand that it makes me feel even more trapped. I am scared enough as it is; then someone comes along and adds insecurity to that, and doubt, and guilt. It doesn’t help!

 

But I got used to it.  I knew that it was part of life and from there I learnt to keep things that matter only to myself.

 

I don’t remember the last time I had anybody support me in being myself. Sure it’s easy to support those who are on the “right” track..but that is subject to your belief of what is the right track.

 

But yesterday, I had a room full of that. People I had not met in a long time, but listened carefully as I told them my hopes and dreams; people that were quick to gauge that I had made a decision, and that I wasn’t sure in doing so, that I was terrified of my own consequences. They understood that I needed support, and they gave me exactly that. They gave me well wishes, and asked how they could help. They told me of times they too were scared, and how others had helped them get through it. They told me I was going to do great, and to have faith in myself.

 

I read one of those “inspirational” quotes, and found one that particularly speaks to me:

 

I'm not one of those who can boast having "a tonne of friends". In fact, I don't know if I really have any to name. But today I know I do. People who will help me in need, and not just give me self doubt and worry..People who I know I can help, without worrying they are just sponging off of me.

 

 

But yes, I am still scared; and yes, I'm grateful for what you have done.