I was reading Alice in Wonderland, and the first chapter was about how she was falling down the rabbit hole. Pages were dedicated to her fall and all the items she saw as she was falling. A cupboard, maps, pictures, and yet her fall still didn't seem to end. She would reach out to some of those items, and try to recite her lessons as she did. Absurd? Yes. But it got me thinking.
The rabbit hole I've been falling in has lasted more months than I care to admit. In fact, it's been more than a year. It was exciting at first, seeing all the new sights and getting the thrill of the fall pumping through your veins. But after a while, you just want to land. I found myself looking through old photos, reminiscing about a time when I looked forward to the nights. Nights were the best. Now they're just time to curl up in a corner of my lumpy flat bed and wait for the hours to go by in time for shut eye.
I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice, in following the rabbit down the rabbit hole, but at the time, not much thinking was done. It was all just feelings. I let the feelings take over and the next thing I knew, I was falling. Occasionally I'd see a cupboard and open up the contents, but since none of it happens on solid ground, none of it feels real. And after the many months passing by full of dreams and sub-realities, I think I'm ready for the reality to kick back in. Unfortunately, I think it's too far off by now.
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