Teardrops that cannot fall

Disaster struck today.

The first of its kind

Not the worse that could happen

But it nearly made me cry.

And I don't cry.

I could never cry.

But for once in a few moments of my life,

I really wanted to.

I was shaking, trembling, nearly crumbling to the floor

But I had to keep going.

I needed the tears to fall

I needed to be held and be made to feel ok

I needed that person to tell me I'll be ok

To give me warm embraces and tell me what to do.

I needed you.

It took all the strength I had not to call you.

I couldn't cry without you.

I couldn't let go.

It wasn't safe.

The world isn't safe.

I stood for a while to try and regain my strength.

All I could muster was a faint stance.

I clambered out all shaken and terrified.

But I couldn't be.

I needed myself to be brave.

I know I've lost you.

I know I don't deserve you.

But I couldn't help but wish it was you I could hear at the end of the line.

Instead of the random strangers

The eager blood-sucking beings.

I wish it was you.

Not some nameless faceless being.

You.

But I no longer have you.

So all I'm left with is this bit of writing.

Hoping that it reaches you.

Not for a want of anything,

But sometimes it just feels nice to be wanted, right?

Hugs and kisses.