When silence becomes the default.

"Would you like to watch a movie with me?" – Too pushy.

"Hye." – Too simple. It'll just be dismissed.

"Would you still like to go out to dinner with me?" – Hmm..no distractions. What if we run out of things to talk about?

"I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date with me." – Uggh..too formal.

"I've been thinking a lot about you lately" – About what?? Not as if you know each other anymore.

"I miss you" – Too needy.

"Heyyy babe….whaddup?" – WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL……

"Helo" – Then what?

"So how's life?" – Too judgmental.

"How have you been lately?" – Then what?

"Are you dating anyone at the moment?" – Too personal.

"Are you happy?" – Answer comes: Yup. Then what??

"Watcha doin'?" – Then what??

 

 

 

 

In the end, nothing comes out but utter silence. Perhaps it really was for the best, then.

When the mind wanders

    I was reading Alice in Wonderland, and the first chapter was about how she was falling down the rabbit hole. Pages were dedicated to her fall and all the items she saw as she was falling. A cupboard, maps, pictures, and yet her fall still didn't seem to end. She would reach out to some of those items, and try to recite her lessons as she did. Absurd? Yes. But it got me thinking.

    The rabbit hole I've been falling in has lasted more months than I care to admit. In fact, it's been more than a year. It was exciting at first, seeing all the new sights and getting the thrill of the fall pumping through your veins. But after a while, you just want to land. I found myself looking through old photos, reminiscing about a time when I looked forward to the nights. Nights were the best. Now they're just time to curl up in a corner of my lumpy flat bed and wait for the hours to go by in time for shut eye.

    I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice, in following the rabbit down the rabbit hole, but at the time, not much thinking was done. It was all just feelings. I let the feelings take over and the next thing I knew, I was falling. Occasionally I'd see a cupboard and open up the contents, but since none of it happens on solid ground, none of it feels real. And after the many months passing by full of dreams and sub-realities, I think I'm ready for the reality to kick back in. Unfortunately, I think it's too far off by now.

Take a step back

    Somehow it seems to be working. The harder she tries, the more of her true self seeps out into open eyes. I just hope that the people who are in power of taking action choose to do so. My respect for them would dwindle if not.

    I cannot lie. It gave me joy to see the scarlet faces that immerged out of the ice cube just now. Faces rendered grotesque because of you. You. I'm glad I took a step back. Soon, you will self-destruct. Perhaps it might take longer than I care to please, but if I keep my head held high, soon enough you won't be able to keep up your façade. It irritates you, doesn't it, to see me happy despite your feeble attempts at putting me down? Well, that is self-control for you. I bear no interest in you. Therefore you may take whatever course you wish. But I know you will self-destruct. How long can you pretend to be something you are not?

    I'll bide my time. I'll keep my distance. But know that from afar, I am taking pleasure in your slow crumble and tumble. And above all, trust me, I will be there when you fall.

On making mistakes

    We all screw up. We all have (several) occasions where we should've acted differently. Sometimes we realize it ourselves, and sometimes we go through our whole lives convinced that we did the best that we could. There are times, though, when we need others to point out our faults to us; and in a way it is a blessing that they did so. However, in pointing out those faults, a certain care should be taken so that it effectively affects the reaction of the faulted person.

My dear,

If people tell you nicely to do things, feel free to ask why you should do so (though at your age perhaps you should use your intellect to judge why you should instead of assuming people are all out to get you). Perhaps you would like to get a second opinion on whether you should really complete the task? Or perhaps ask yourself why is it you are so reluctant to do so.

 

I refuse to stoop down to your level. That is all.

Turning.

 

Sometimes the goal is not to win; it is to fight.

 

 

 

 

Show me how to fight.

 

 

 

Of footwear princes.

 

    Not many people have the great uphill battles of the princes. That is, the unchanged ones that come in the frog shapes. They sort of always appear and make their homes and are almost impossible to get rid of. When I was younger, the toilets were plagued with these happy princes. They loved that it never overflowed and yet it was almost always moist enough for their liking. I have no idea what they ate, probably ants or other household pests.

    The first time I encountered a prince that moved in to our toilet, I screamed my head off; and since I was still quite young, my mother came rushing to my aid. Upon seeing the poor amphibian, she got a broom…yes, a broom, and swept the fella into the toilet. We had one of those squat toilets so that was easily done. She flushed the toilet and we never saw the fella ever again.

    The second time, I was still just as disgusted and ran to my dad for assistance. You didn't expect me to just bathe with the prince, did you? My dad had a different approach; which was to scoop up the intruder into a plastic bag, and throw him out to the nearby forestry. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it's the same one that reappeared in the toilet again a week later.

    It's not an uncommon thing, to have frogs take up residence in toilets; but it freaks me out anyways. What if it decides to jump up at me as I was bathing? I know it had no business doing that; it's not like their predatory or anything, but something about these amphibians that just freaks me out.

    I've learnt that in the villages where amphibians were most common, especially during rainy season, one should be particularly wary of toilet intruders. I would carefully inspect the corners of the toilet before going in. Making sure none were lurking in the room. Being half blind without my glasses, this was quite tricky since it meant that I would have to put on my glasses, inspect the corners, then take off my glasses, undress, find a nice dry spot for my glasses, and commence my bathing activities. Ahhh, a nice peaceful frogless bathing experience. Now time to brush my teeth. Toothbrush, meet toothpaste. Cream. Hands reach out to turn on the tap…

 

Holy crap on a cracker…..IT WAS ON THE SINK!!!!!

 

Awww Helllllll nooooooooooooo…..

 

How'd the hell did the fat thing get up that high? Can he climb?? Heeeeeyuckksssss…..

 

    An uncle of mine told me of a battle he once fought. It wasn't the toilet loving types that irked him. It was the shoe-inhibiters. I guess 'cause it was warm and snuggly for them, they just loved to crawl in at night and good luck to whoever slips their feet in the next morning. You wiggle your toes forward the way you do when you put on shoes and suddenly you feel the jelly-ish textures against your socks and your like I hope it's not…..Oh hell…it is…and you have to throw out your dazed tenant and put on the shoe anyways and it sucks 'cause you know just a few minutes ago a frog was in it and now you're putting your foot in.

    So my uncle was having this problem. Two days in a row a frog had taken a liking for his shoe. There were half a dozen other shoes outside the house, but it chooses his shoes. And always the left shoe. So after two days of finding the fella curled up in his shoe, my uncle decides to be the wiser and prop up his shoes against the wall so that the shoes were upright and it just wasn't possible for the fella to get up in it.

    Happy that he had displayed his superior intellect to the frog, he happily got ready for work the next day and put on his shoe.

 

 

 

 

It was inside.

 

 

    How the dude clung on to keep up with the snuggly part of the shoe, no one will ever know. Needless to say, my uncle brought his shoes inside from that day on.

 

    It was always like a third party story for me, this frog-in-shoe thing. My mother had it, my father had it, my other family had some version of it. But it never happened to me. Until one day. I was going to school, and it was a particularly cold morning and I wished I could just snuggle back up in bed. I was still sleepy and even my morning shower had not woken me up. I put on my school shoes, and suddenly my toes met a slightly rough squishy fatness. Oh no, could it be…..? I gave it little thought and my leg spasmed forward. My shoe flew across the patio, across the driveway, and out the front gate, and fell right next to my father who was tidying the car. He seemed to know what the problem could be. He shook out the culprit and walked over to me and wordlessly handed me my shoe.

 

 

Thanks dad. I looked down at the shoe.

Hypothetical Question

 

Situation: A team of three is tasked (reason irrelevant) to move a table from one designated location to another every day. It's a mundane task, but necessary either way.

 

Problem: Out of the three, one goes to great lengths to moan, groan and heave (in front of the team leader who occasionally pops in to check that the table is moved and all three are indeed moving it.) when moving the table, but the other two know that it is barely for show. This Moaner is always there, at times even the earliest to be there, at the table, ready for the day's mundane task ahead. Yet the other two know that it might as well be a legless goat there for it would be just as useless in terms of helping to move the table. Technically, the Moaner is there, but the other two know for sure that he is hardly doing any more than placing his fingers at the table's edge.

 

Further clarification: Yes, the task is mundane, but not entirely pointless. The team leader has valid reasons for assigning this task to the team and it is not the only task they have to complete. It is merely one of many.

 

The conundrum: What do the other two do? What is the "respectable" and "effective" way of dealing with this situation?

 

1. How could the other two notify the leader without sounding like jealous tattletales?
   
2. How could they prove that the Moaner was indeed not pulling his fair weight? He is careful enough to make a show of his great "effort" whenever anybody of any higher title is present.
   
3. Is "turning the other cheek" really an effective method or is it the only thing that can be done?
   

 

 

 

 

I like one person's suggestions the best so far: Punch the fella in the face and beat him senseless.

I mean, how can you win against these people? They are wise enough not to press major buttons and take advantage of people within their same level and especially people of "lower" levels. What action could you take that wouldn't put yourselves in trouble?