All in a Day’s Work

 

 

One.

I was driving out to lunch. Slightly groggy, and the window no longer rolls down so I have to open the door to get to the parking thing. Instead of pressing the brakes to slow down, I press on the honk. One clear, low honk echoes through the still parking lot. Security guards rush out to see what the commotion is. They see nothing but me in the car. Calmly tapping at the parking thing. No accident, no wild dogs blocking the way, nothing wrong with the parking thing. I proceed to calmly drive out. Security guards are bewildered, I am embarrassed, but no longer groggy.

 

 

 

 

 

Two.

She was getting dressed, and her friend comes along remarking “My goodness, your shorts are so short!!!” (I am reminded of the Psammead-keeper’s escalator encounter). The following conversation ensues:

Friend: Eh, your shorts are d**n short!!

Shorts: Huh? Can see a**?

Friend: Yes!!

Shorts: Where?

(at this point I wish I could say “There, right behind your knee-caps.” I mean, where else would your a** be?)

Friend proceeds to poke at Shorts’ behind, where she sees a**.

Shorts: You poke inside, of course got a**. (huffs)

Friend: Yes, can see… (proceeds to turn her head upside down, squinting at Shorts’ a**. But you have quite a nice a**, so I suppose it’s ok.

Shorts: Really? You think so?

 

 

This goes on for about 10 minutes.

 

 

 

Three

I exit this room daily and I am almost always alone in doing so. I am the one who turns on the lights, so I make sure I turn it off as I leave. Except today, I wasn’t alone. However, being the habitual creature that I am, my hand automatically went to the switches and turned off the lights. DESPITE, smiling a polite goodbye to the other two in the room as I was leaving. Tsk Tsk…

 

The funny part was in the few milliseconds it took for me to realize there were people still in the room, these two started proclaiming loud ghoul-banishing chants…it was pretty serious for a moment. I turned the lights on and poked my head in to apologize.. they said all was good.

 

 

 

Four

She had a tube top on. I was curious if she had exercised with that on..because those tend to slip down, even when you’re not moving rigorously. But at the same time it did look sports-y. I looked on, and as I did, she just took it off!!

I don’t regularly see topless females. It can be quite traumatizing. In this case, I would rate it a 4. The scene wasn’t horrific, but the action was.

So she proceeded to move around with those two just flapping freely about. I’m afraid to go to sleep now.