I couldn’t.

No one could ever accuse me of not being able to talk. I doubt anyone would ever describe me as quiet…but that doesn’t mean I say everything. Tonight I realized that for all my chatter and banter, there are just some things I couldn’t bring myself to say. Tonight they came and I stared at them and as much as I wanted to tell them that each of them meant the world to me, all I could come up with was “Let’s watch a movie.” And as we sat there in silence munching on the popcorn and eyes fixated on the small screen, I turned my gaze to each of them and wondered if this was the last time I would be able to call them my babies. My terrible, terrible babies; whom I love and cherish for being the light of my life.

In my ups and downs I glanced at him and his tribe and saw how fixated they were….on him. And now I wonder should I really hang on to them if at my best, all I can offer them is a movie and some popcorn…perhaps I should motion to let go. I can’t beat him ever. He has them entranced and worst still I know that if I were there I would be together with them caught in his beautifully crafted spews. What he can achieve with them is something I probably cannot hope to do. Where do I go from here? Do I give up and leave or do I stay and hope to learn? Hope to someday evolve and become something nearly as great.