Phantom animals

One

I asked her why there were so many receipts for cat food, when it was a hostel business. Did they provide shelter for cats? Who paid for the cats' lodging then?

She said no, the owner of the hostel was running an ordinary hostel; it just so happens she has a soft spot for cats..and there were a lot in the area. There was a porch and cemented area (at which point she starts to hold out something in her hands. Nothing that I could see, but it was there; in her head, in her hands) that the cats could freely "hang out" at. Her hand seemed to be cuddling some imaginary cat as she spoke. She stroked it. She continued: the owner would feed the cats at this "open lounge" and that is why she is buying so much cat food; hence the receipts for 10kgs of cat food almost every week.

She was not only fondling an imaginary cat by now, she had also "lifted" and adjusted the poor critter and continued stroking it. She looked out far into the distance as she spoke, and continued to pet whatever feline she had in mind as she told me this very important bit of information.

I couldn't decide which is more amusing; the hostel owner spending almost 500 bucks a month on stray cats (she sometimes hired groomers and cleaners to tend to the loungers' needs), or my esteemed colleague cuddling an imaginary cat.

 

 

Two

Found in a book: At this time our goats had two kids, our sheep had five lambs and one of our dogs had puppies.

 

I wanted them to identify that goats' offspring are called kids, sheep's lambs, and dogs' puppies.

"What are the babies of dogs called?" (points to book)

"puppies"

"What are babies of goats called?"

"Baby goats"

"No no…." (points to book)

"Chicks!"

"No! What did the goats have?" (points to book)

"Kids"

"So what are baby goats called?"

"Chicks!"

"No…" (a toitle feeling emerges)

"What did the goats have?"

"Kids!"

"And what did the dogs have?"

"Puppies!"

"So what are the babies of goats called?"

"Kittens!!"

 

Oh God………save me. This goes on for about 20 minutes and I finally give up. One boy stands up and tells me about his dog that had puppies. His language is less than sufficient, but he tries..

"Last time, my dog have puppy. But two die."

I notice he seems to be 'cradling' something as he speaks. I think it is a puppy. A phantom one, but a puppy nonetheless.

"When two die, I sad. But I boy, so I don't cry."

His voice is rough, his actions even more so. But he is gently cupping his hands where (I assume) a puppy could fit. He caresses each one, then turns away from the rest, murmuring to his departed puppies.

*heart melts*