Jump into the wagon, we will.

Recently it made news that a boy of 15 chose to quit school, and marry a girl of a similar age.

(Seriously, this is what journalism has become.)

 

 

The nation has gone in an uproar, celebrities have come out to gain their share of the limelight and given opinion into the matter, various “concerned” parties have emerged and spoken of this traffic-stopping occurrence.

 

“They aren’t mature enough to understand the responsibility of being a husband/wife, let alone to be a parent!”

 

“They should focus on getting an education instead of marriage”

 

“How can he support a wife when he can’t even buy his own underpants?”

 

“Good, this will prevent them from pre-marital sins”

 

“What a waste of his youth. Why rush into marriage when there are so many things he hasn’t gone through yet on his own?”

 

 

 

I shall now tell a story.

 

There was a girl who struggled all through school. Never got good grades, barely passed to get herself a certificate. Couldn’t write an essay in her native language if her life depended on it, and any maths beyond the basic + - is far beyond what she could handle.

 

Her elder sister, well, her sister wasn’t brilliant either. But she passed all her exams, some even with good grades. She joined school activities, and was a prefect (ok, it may be a foreign term to some of you. Prefects are the ones who get to monitor us lowly delinquent students and report to the teacher. Like cops, but without the donuts and coffee.). She finished school, went off to college, where she passes all her exams..some good grades here and there.

 

After finishing school, the younger sister announces that she will not be pursuing any tertiary education, and instead will marry a boy who has asked for her hand. Not that it matters to the story, but the boy happens to live in the house across the road from the girl. He was a similar age to her, had no job, and wasn’t planning to go to college either.

The family is horrified.

How could she be so short-sighted of her future? How could she not give herself that chance of at least trying to go to college, so she could get a decent job, so she can better provide for her future, as well as the future of her children? How would the boy support her?

“Look at your sister! When she finishes college, she will have a degree, get a high paying job, then she can marry and live comfortably. Even if her husband leaves her, she will have her education, and she will have a job so she can support herself and her children. You? You will always be dependent on your husband, and what can he provide for you?”

 

 

Both sisters look at each other.

 

 

Regardless, the younger sister is married off to the boy of her choice. She remains a stay-at-home wife, and soon a bundle of joy is announced.

 

 

I’ll fast forward the story several years.

 

The elder sister has completed her degree, and now has that high paying job everyone spoke of. She has all the designer clothes, when she walks into a room she smells of fairytale happy endings wrapped in angel dust. Ok, that’s an exaggeration. But you get the point. She drives a car of her own, lives in the city in a place she has all to herself, and any bill that needs to be paid when the family goes out is always taken care of by her.

 

The younger sister, now has two very active children running at her feet. Yes, they are all over the house and at the same time manage to also always be under her feet. Her clothes were bought at the local discount store, she hasn’t seen the inside of a restaurant since the last time the elder sister decided to treat the whole family to a dinner out. Her fingernails were shriveled and pruned, her hair thinning out from her last pregnancy.

 

One day, at the dinner table, the mother pointedly asks the elder sister

“…and you, when are you going to settle down? Enough of all this ‘fun’ you think you are having. It is time you take on more responsibility. Look at your sister, she already has two children. You? What do you have other than pointless material possessions?”

 

 

 

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People forget, that all choices come with some sort of sacrifice. The only question is whether you are aware of those sacrifices at the time you make those choices. Knowing those sacrifices, and weighing them cost-over-benefit before jumping into those choices; that is maturity.

Maturity does not come with age. It increases as we get older, perhaps; but not all of us mature at the same rate.

Instead of judging right from wrong, wouldn’t the world be so much better if we tried to understand each other first, before giving our “concerned” thoughts of the matter?