This is for you.

 

So, if you happen to bring yourself here, please take note of this. Perhaps you could scribble something onto the orange paper I gave you. Is there space?

 

 

Here goes: If you happen to come here, please DO NOT EAT THE WAFFLES.

 

I repeat, DO NOT EAT THE WAFFLES.

 

 

Unless of course, you would like to find for yourself, a handful of disappointment.

 

I have yet to find a decent waffle place that makes waffles that haven’t disappointed me. Oh, sometimes they have different names for them:

 

Wafer

Wafer Cake

Waffle cake

 

 

 

Bottom line is, if you see the waffle maker thing, DON’T BUY the thing that comes out of it. Like I said, it is a sad handful of disappointment of the founding fathers of waffles.

 

Some of the A&W places have somewhat non-so-disappointing waffles; but why would you make your way here just to eat A&W, right?

 

These pathetic excuses for waffles are abundantly sold in small kiosks; usually found in malls, but sometimes even in roadside stalls. It doesn’t matter. Don’t eat them. Unless you want to be handed the biggest disappointment in your life. Think Asian father not getting a Doctor son. This disappointment is greater. I have no particular prejudice against disappointed Asian fathers, but I do care about your future feeling towards waffles. I tell you, once you have held a disappointing waffle in your hands, you will forever be suspicious of other waffles. Even the good ones. I should know. I lived a whole life of disappointment waffles, and when I finally reached Land of the Good Waffles, it took me forever to convince myself that it would indeed be a good waffle.

 

What’s wrong with our waffles, you ask?

 

Well, for starters, they are almost ALWAYS soggy. Which in turn makes them limp, and soft. If it is by some miracle affect crunchy, that would probably be the burnt bits at the sides. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because of our climate. But they are ALWAYS soggy. You could hold a fresh one up, and it would flop back onto your hand. Then you would be screaming because it would be steaming hot, and you would’ve hurt your hand. See? I’m not being mean about waffles here, I just care about your well-being.

 

Note that I used the words “steaming hot” just now? Well, that’s because that’s what you’ll see escaping from the waffle when you open the paper bag they’ll probably give you the waffle in. Yes, steam. Steam is produced when water becomes hot, and rises into the air. It probably explains why the waffles are soggy, seeing as there is hot water within it trying to escape. Any water failing to escape results in further soggy-making of the waffles.

 

Do not be fooled by the smell. They smell wonderful. In fact, if there is a kiosk selling these waffles within a 20-meter range, your nose will tell you and your tummy will growl in response. Do not be fooled. The smell is deceivingly good.

 

Some better places have discovered the soggy-inducing conditions the paper bags make for the waffles, so they have moved on to selling them in paper cones. Still, it will flap about in your hand like a bird that will never be able to fly. Unless of course, you throw it into a distant dustbin.

 

 

In a land where good food is abundant, please heed my warning of this one. There are plenty of other good things to be had. Do try them.