What makes the news these days...

I saw in the news about this new invention: a robotic tail to be attached to a human being. Yup, don’t bother reading that again, you got it right the first time. A tail for a human. A human tail. Man-tail. It apparently is taking off and there’s a market for it. As in, it’s been able to find actual humans who buy it. Question is, who????

Ok, it’s (I guess) near October, so maybe people are buying it to complete their costumes; give it a “natural” wag to it…but then, the people who have been selling it must’ve been selling it for the past few months (at least) in order for them to report that “there was a market for the tails”. Is this something like the horse head fiasco where there was this ridiculous horse head mask that was being sold online and at first it was like a joke like “who would buy that?” but then suddenly surfaced like a gazillion photos of people who (probably have bought) were playing pranks and taking wedding shots with these horse head masks which is even more ridiculous because it was a ridiculous prop in the first place.

Well, if you can get how ridiculous the horse mask thing was, then you can imagine my horror when I saw this news about the tails. I mean, these were robotic tails, which, according to the news, could be wagged in different modes to display “moods” the way that animal tails do. Why might you want that? To attract chicks?  [In Johnny Bravo voice] Hey girl, check out what my tail’s sayin’ bout what I think of you...

But seriously, can you imagine people wearing these to actual dates and be like, swish swish all across the floors? And then it becomes this fashion thing where you wear your tail to display your mood the way that a long time ago people started to dress/make up according to how they feel. I’m sure somebody thought that was ridiculous when it started. But look at things today; it’s a perfect norm with people accepting it as a part of life.

Coming back to the tails, I just can’t help but to wonder, what if our human anatomy gets a signal of a need for tails…I mean, throughout evolution, the human anatomy had gone through several changes. Less hairiness, softer skin, refined features, all that came with how civilisation evolved and with it, the unnecessary body details. We don’t need as much hair because we mostly wear clothes and stay indoors to keep ourselves warm. We don’t need rough skin because we are not as susceptible to dangerous insect bites to render the need for a thick hide.

There’s this parody of how human bodies might grow an extra thumb to accommodate game consoles, one eyeball tilted upwards to accommodate a certain type of internet-enable glass. It’s not entirely dismissible that if our bodies felt that we were bringing forth a need for a tail, that it would then generate the necessary equipment. It would take several generations, and the apocalypse might happen before the evolution completes, but it is possible. Well, according to my logic, it is.

And can you believe all this madness just out of watching one (perhaps made up) piece of news.