I can feel that cloud coming again. I can taste the frosty
air and the misty humidity setting. You don’t want to move yet you can't stay
still. Everything feels heavy yet your head feels light. Everything is
magnified, but at the same time it feels like at a distance.
I will not allow that cloud near me this time. It is not
warranted. Both parties have not yet committed any acts warranting the coming
of such a cloud. But I know it is here. Right in front of me. And I also know that inflicting self-pain
has no power to push that cloud away; no matter how big the physical pain may
be. But it helps. It helps to know that at least I am doing something instead of
waiting..neverendlessly waiting.
Here is the test of nobility, of self-righteousness, of a
pure heart. You do not fight with swords or daggers, you do not fight with
flamethrowers or archers. All you have to do is choose whether to stand your
ground, or turn heads and walk away.
If only that choice were as easy to make.
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