May I have a bottle of ketchup, please?

Today was a bad day. One of those so bad that no toys, no new clothes, no good food, no amount of dessert could take away. I could walk, I could talk, I could sing and dance. But my soul was nowhere near. My joy was even further. The light that I used to feel within me is not there. I paw at the ground hoping that the sadness will go away. But it isn’t just sadness this time.

I can try to make things better; I can try to push through. But what use is it all to me if the days continue dim and dark? I gave up a long time ago. I can’t give up on giving up. It doesn’t make sense. I want what I didn’t want but I still don’t quite want it because I know I shouldn’t want it. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t make sense. I see the world so differently that I can’t make sense to anybody. I give up explaining any of it to anyone because it’s just tiresome. It’s just tiresome to try and explain and be given some idiotic response. Some people just think that laying out their opinions in itself make them a worthy conversant. Nope.

“The only problem with dining alone is when there are self service counters. Like, for condiments and drinks.”

“Why?”

“Well, the servers will absolutely refuse to help you get things. Even if you’re obviously alone and in the midst of your meal.”

“Oh, if it were me I’d just get up and get it myself”

(in real life, I would stop the conversation right there. Here’s the remainder of the conversation that I just don’t wish to have)

“And leave my food unattended?”

“No one’s going to do anything to it. Just go.”

“What if I have a tonne of shopping bags with me?”

(I don’t care which response comes next, I find all of them repulsive.)

A: “Just leave it there. No one’s going to take it. It’s just for a little while.”

B: “Take it with you”

C: “Ask the person at the next table to watch it for you. They won’t go anywhere, they’re in the middle of eating.”

“But I’m not comfortable leaving my food unattended. I travel alone. People aren’t trustworthy these days.”

“Oh, if it were me I’d just leave it.” < Note the need to reiterate what they have earlier stated. Dear Idiot, repeating your point doesn’t make it any smarter. Besides, maybe no one wants to do anything to you. I’m not taking my chances.

If you can’t figure out why I find all of those responses irksome, chances are, you are irksome.